"It's a different kind of love"-they say.

It's a different kind of love-they say.
I'm not an empathetic person-I reply.
You will never be the same-they say.

I don't understand- I remind.
Your love is unending-they retry.
It just can't be-I proclaim.
You will find out-they resign :)

Smiles from the depth-giggles from the heart-love that oozes out...and in an instant (well some over time)
I realize....
it's a different kind of love,
i will never be the same,
my love seems unending.

Smiles from the heart.

              

                                   

               

(the journey to get to this smile being okay I realized this morning has been more than ten years in the making...it has been full of heartache, tears, deep searching, temper tantrums and finally finding the love of God to be satisfied....these deep smiles are the result of understanding no one but God can fill that void)

Christmas Blessings

Christmas is a time of waiting and anticipation.  Christmas Eve we went to Bayou City Fellowship's first Christmas Eve service.  It was cold and outside, but a good reminder about the "no room in the inn" time our Savior first experienced. With matching PJs a tradition my mom had started with us as kids, Bailey and Colton headed home still too little to understand anticipation of the next morning.  (the adults sure were excited to share their first Christmas with two babies) 

Mom had planned out a menu for the day with delicious breakfast items and traditional Christmas.  We each in turn made fun of the menu as we found it hanging on the refrigerator, but now I wish I had taken a picture.  She always does a great job making everything seem like a beautiful, special adventure.

Phillip, Erin and Bailey arrived first, so we had the next 20 minutes of distracting Bailey from the presents before Andrew, Amy and Colton got to the house.  Finally after the anticipation of waiting for everyone to arrive present opening began.  Since Bailey's birthday was just a month before, she had already mastered ripping off the wrapping paper.  I enjoyed getting her a tea set with a pink boa.  She didn't like the boa too much, but the tea set has been a big hit.  I also found Shelia Walsh's books about Gigi that fit so perfectly with the tea party idea.  She also got a fun pink Castle from Aunt Amy.

Although not even close to being able to enjoy these books, Tale of Despereaux by Kate DeCamillo became one of my favorites a few years ago.  She was in Houston to autographs books and I could help but get a copy for the fabulous Princess and Knight. Colton got is very own Shelia Walsh book about Will the Warrior.  I searched and searched for a sword to match the fun book, but never could find the best one.  So he got one of his toys from his Babies R Us list, a sports activity station. (I still owe you the sword Bud!)

So in reflecting on the anticipation and excitement of picking out the perfect gift, it points me back to the symbolism of God's love for us.  Many years people waited in anticipation for God's promised gift of Christ's presence on Earth.  As He prepared a special time, like we pick out the perfect gift, He sent Jesus to us. Oh how we wait for His return to Earth again.

Fun first month

Today she turns one

I'm not really sure the pictures can capture the way her eyes twinkled and mind sparked with curious delight as we sang at the tops of our lung happy birthday to Bailey as she walked into Aunt Pam's house for her birthday dinner.  Her little mind was surely processing this was different and entertaining and I would like to say she was figuring out it was for her.  She learned quickly how to tear open presents and we learned equally as well to not give her the books if we didn't want the process to stop for a reading session.

She did get clothes from Clayton and Amy in which you can see her delight and hugging.

The cupcake singing was the best as she again watched with intent eyes and looked at each person while the song was being sung.  And then as she leaned to blow out her candle and take a first bite of sweets.  How children who have never had sweets know to say yumm, yummm will always surprise me with delight.

The day of her party Bailey celebrated in Minnie Mouse style and this is the jumper I gave her.

Also wanted to start her a charm bracelet, so she got her 1st birthday charm at her party. Happy Birthday sweet girl....Aunt Lisa loves you!

Hooray! A King is Here!

After many months of waiting and days of waking up to expect a text or phone call, I know it was relieving for all of us to know Amy had a scheduled induce date. It wasn't the original Sept. 21 we all had in our heads, but Andrew was sure to be in town and we were fully ready to meet Colton James King! The blog title says it all in a text from Greg as he realized he was a second cousin and a true king Colton has proven to be. I know I was excited to be apart of the day since when Bailey was born I received a picture text at 8:00 in the morning and had to wait until 6:00 that night to hold her! I debated just taking off half a day, I mean it was my sister who was having the baby NOT me, why should I take the day off.  I sure am thankful I did though because there were precious moments for me that morning as I got to spend time with my little sister before she "became" a mom.  Much of the story I would write from my perspective would be completely different as we all could take a different angle to share, but the calm and patience I saw her hold onto as she had matured into an amazing woman was outstanding.  I guess the unspoken maturity of her allowing/tolerating me to be apart of the moments spoke volumes to my heart and transferred to me a love that I long to receive from my sister. Here's the rest of the story:

Dinner the night before at Chuy's.

                                                                

Memorial Herman was a very convenient location and after jokes of Andrew sleeping in at the house while mom took Amy to check in that morning, they all got their pretty early and quick to start induction. The delivery floor was nice as each patient had their own rooms, but as the family we were free to walk between the waiting area and Amy's room.  During delivery Erin even commented she wanted to hear Colton's cry for the first time and attempted to walk down the hallway in time. After seeing the doctor leave the floor Phillip, Erin, and I assumed he was here and shortly after Andrew came out to announce Colton was here and show pictures.  We all quickly took turns watching Bailey in the waiting area and seeing Colton for the first time.  Here Bailey finally gets to meet her cousin for the first time.

The nurses did a great job giving him a bath and letting us feel apart of the process.  The big picture windows sure help you feel like you are right there with them.

All cleaned and sleeping with his snuggle pup Aunt Lisa gave him.

After we had settled into the new room, Andrew and I changed him into his 1st day picture outfit. It came all the way from H&M.

Day 2 a quick visit after church and waiting for them to be ready to come home.

This little man is not going to be this small forever, so a picture on my legs will prove that in time.

                                            A great family picture.

                                Showing Colton his room for the 1st time.

                                           Playing dress up again.

                               Welcome home King family!
                            (Hook'em is already aware of the change)
                                        

Drowning in a sea of newness

This is an email that never got sent to people willing to pray for me.  I'm not sure I even FULLY remember those first months of changing to 2nd grade as every day was just survival.  I wish now that I had more time to write it all down.  Let's just stay that it was a new kind of breaking and humbling process.
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I'm not going to send an email every week, but I did want to give you some specifics to pray for and say thanks for being willing to receive them. I also wanted to let you know the 2nd week did not start off as "peachy keen" as my first one sounded. (it did however end better)

Behavior was a struggle since the 1st day of school and seemed to get worse into the 2nd week. It wasn't until Wednesday that I realized perhaps it was my fear of letting go of control and feeling of not being prepared that left me stressed NOT the students. I have been in a very foul mood and didn't seem to want to fix it. Not being prepared seems to leave me unknowingly grumpy...it is always under the surface, but just lately I am realizing that's what causes the feeling.


Thanks for the prayers and listening ears.

Teaching is my passion and I am humbled because of it.

Humbled by how our plans are never better than HIS plans. - I am finally back to teaching at my dream grade level 2nd grade!

Humbled by how loved I am- never knew I had so many people who love me enough to say they were thinking of me on the 1st day of school

Humbled by my inability to shake that "new teacher" feeling after 10 years of teaching-Only God knew I would need it to remain close to HIM and give HIM the credit

All of these lessons came the first day of school. Many of you have gotten a "back to school" email from me in the past on the night before the first day of school. I fully intended on writing one and even sat down Sunday night to compose it, but didn't feel like the timing was right. Sure glad I didn't run ahead because I know I would had missed out on these sweet blessings.

I didn't go on any big mission trips this summer although my heart longed to go. I wrestled a lot with God about the idea of being lazy, but He continued to remind me to be still and relax for His purpose. I am learning who I am is not about what I do and He wanted to drive that home this summer. So all of that leads me to this email already a week into the school year. I am reminded again I am called to teach! I was blessed to know when I was little what I wanted to be when I grew up (although my poster from elementary school says I wanted to be a nurse!) Teaching is my passion, it brings me great joy. So despite the fact that I try and convince myself that other things sound more noble, for now this is what I am called to do and I love it.

I am going to continue to update my blog throughout the year http://truthlovegrace.blogspot.com/ but when I started these emails a few years back it was because I had friends who were missionaries. They would send updates to me about specific prayer requests about their area of the world. It was in reading one of these and trying to put myself on mission somewhere else that I realized I had already been sent somewhere....my own school! Although I have lost focus, I would like to start sending these emails more consistently on behalf of all teacher. So if have a desire to pray for teachers or even just for me and want to continue to get emails from me this year, please email me back.

Below are the verses I taped up around my room behind posters and decorations. I also included a picture of my room, but more will be on my blog. Thanks for being apart of my life!

Romans 10:13-15; Isaiah 61:3; Ps 5:11-12; Isaiah 64:4; Psalms 118:19-24; Psalms 18:16-19; Psalms 16:5-6; Psalms 31:6-8; 2 Corinthains 5:17-21; 1 Peter 3:15-16

Watching her grow

After months of getting to hold her and small times for people to leave us alone...this was the first "real" babysitting I got to do for Bailey.  She was just starting to sit up, but not able to sit on her own.  With Aunt Lisa's couch pillows and borrowed toys from Nana's house, we had a blast while the mom, dad, and grandparents were taking care of other things.

Although she won't sit for long any more, this was Bailey's first moment at the piano.  It was so fun to watch her tap out the keys and "sing" along.

Throwing her in the air and watching her squeal, we watched as she also began to find pure delight in bouncing on your lap. I was excited to buy this jumper and watch her go.

The process of walking is an amazing thing to see as it happens months before the actual first steps.  In fact, looking back on all of these pictures I realized how blessed I was to be able to see her through all of these stages and compare it to our own "walk" with God.  Babies gain the muscles needed to hold up their head, so they can transition into laying on their tummies for crawling and sitting up on their own.  Before watching Bailey "learn" to walk, I thought the sitting was the most important step before walking, but I actually realized it's when they are on their tummies learning to roll over that is most important.  If babies never learn to roll over and gain those muscles, then during those awkward crawling moments when they need to sit up and turn around they can't get their leg under them quite right.  It's at those times we have seen it happen with babies, their arms get stuck and their legs are tangled in just a way that makes it impossible to move, that's when they flop face first onto the floor. How many times have I done the same things, only whined and complained even more about the process to God.  He's trying to teach me to "walk" with him, only I'm trying to run before I have the skills and muscles to turn around.  Much like parents it would be easy for Him to scoop me up and make life so easy I never learn anything.  We don't have a Father whose mean enough to let us suffer, but loving enough to grow our muscles stronger so we can run with Him. 

Why crawl before we walk? We all knew Bailey wouldn't crawl for very long because all she wanted to do was jump and stand.  It's the arms that are gaining strength to pull up on objects so they can stand during the crawling process.  Here's a picture of her pulling up, shortly after Nana bought her a walker and she took off.  Balance is the last, most important skill in walking.  Observing Bailey I realized you first learn to balance by standing in one place.  The first moment I saw her doing this was in her parent's front yard.  She didn't like her feet touching the grass, so she didn't want to move when I stood her up.  Distracted long enough by a cell phone and she was standing for a few minutes on her own. Do our arms have the same strength or do we give in too soon and stop "crawling" letting our weakness keep us on the floor instead of taking adventures? Most of the times God is calling me to be still, I feel like I am not doing anything but looking at this process of walking I can see how standing still does require action. This sweetness is now running places and I love keep up with her!